How come that in semi-anonymous contexts characterized by flux and exchangeability, people experience affection, closeness and some sense of trust? The answer, proposed in this article, is that intimacy is not necessarily bound up with personal relationships but with social situations. A situational approach, grounded in classic sociological thinking and queer theory, allows us to challenge the close association of intimacy with personal relationships, without celebrating subversive closeness. In doing so, we turn to empirical studies of impersonal intimacy and address the ways in which rituals and rhythm produce intimacy through orienting perception and bodies. Drawing on examples from empirical and theoretical studies of tango dancing, horse riding and self-help groups we explore intimacy apparatuses that connect people while also keeping them apart. Underscoring the situational elements, our approach points to the limits of thinking intimacy as belonging to the individual and situates the study of intimacy at the heart of a critical social science.